The Day I Became A Mom

The day I became a mom started like any other day. I got my 8-month pregnant self up and ready for work. I worked a full day at the office, told my coworkers and staff bye, then waddled to my car. I started driving home on the backroads I drove everyday, called my boyfriend (now husband) told him I was on my way home then started listening to the radio.

There was a lot of 5 o’clock traffic. The opposite lane was starting to pile up and stop. I’m cruising by, all of a sudden a work truck carrying lawnmowers came into my lane. They were coming straight at me, it happened so fast I had no time to react. They hit my Cadillac SUV head-on.

The airbags deployed, there was a lot of dust and the most terrifying silence I have ever heard. Then another hit to my car. I had spun into a telephone pole. I couldn’t comprehend what happened but, my stomach was burning. I thought, the car is going to blow up. I have to get out. I somehow got the seatbelt off and pushed my way out of the vehicle. I just started running away from my car right to the middle of the street.

A man met me in the middle of the road and grabbed my hands. I was shaking, worried about my burning belly and my unborn baby. I somehow managed to rattle off my husbands phone number. The ambulance arrived, they started to help me onto the stretcher…. That’s the last thing I remember for 17 hours.

I was in a concussion and kept asking 3 questions over and over. 1.)What happened? 2.)Was it my fault? 3.)Is the baby okay? Finally after 17 hours, I start to wake up from the concussion. My husband is by my side showing me pictures of our baby girl. I’m starting to grasp we had a car accident and they had to do an emergency C-section. The seatbelt had severely bruised my belly and ripped the skin off making it completely raw.

After many hours and begging to see my baby, they FINALLY brought her to me. She is beautiful, healthy, and unharmed from the accident. I tried to breastfeed but, my right breast was purple and bruised so badly I didn’t produce milk. I pumped what I could and we mixed it with formula. We only stayed at the hospital for 4 days. We were so ready to take our baby home and start our new life. We made it home, we were all safe and happy!

I had no idea what would come next. I have always had anxiety and panic disorder, now I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When I’m driving on major highways or driving long distance, my hands start to sweat and I start feeling dizzy. I have imagined cars coming at me when they are not. I would love to say I’m all better but, the truth is that I still struggle. I just take each day as it comes and I love my family fiercely! I’m lucky that I work from home and I don’t have to drive everyday. Hopefully, one day I won’t have these issues. If you are fighting the battle with mental health, reach out to your doctor or loved one. You are not alone!

T.

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